hi

At around 11:30 this morning I had a tourniquet tied around the base of my big toe. Then three shots around my toenail (why yes, it does hurt more than getting a tattoo) to numb the area. After that my toenail was sliced open with a scalpel and large amounts of pus squeezed out.

So how was your day?

sick again

Not me, mercifully. The boys. Right now they are laying drugged out on the couch with tissues and PBS Kids. How do I know the drugs are working? They are not fighting. Ah, but the day is young. They will be snipping at each other soon enough. I can still hear the sniffing and slight mouth breathing. But not nearly as bad as before the medicine.

Oh, look. Thing 2 just grabbed a new tissue box. Way to snot your way through a whole container by 8:30am. Hey, and do I hear the beginnings of an argument? Why yes I do. Dang, didn't give them enough cold medicine.

I am glad I put a small garbage can next to the couch. Otherwise the dog would be chewing up all the used tissues. I just grossed you out, didn't I? Hey - I suffer, you suffer.

I had plans today that I had to scrap. And by plans I mean volunteering and grocery shopping. Then watching Springer with my husband at lunch time. Yes, Springer. It has become something of a tradition with Chris and I. It is like a fabulous train wreck. True, some of it is scripted (whip cream fights, etc.) but not all of it. As he often says, "I would think all of it is staged, except they remind me too much of some of my family members". And he is right. I haven't seen anyone who reminds me of my family members yet, but I figure it is only a matter of time.

Earlier this week they had the usual, "Hey you had my baby but now I don't love you so I'm sleeping with your little sister who you haven't seen for years but took in recently and helped her get back on her feet and it turns out she was just playing me so she's a sl*t, but even though I been cheating I am not a sl*t."

So nothing new, right? However. The poor woman who was being told all of this was awesome. She was upset and crying, of course, but she didn't yell. There was no kicking off of shoes and hair pulling, no trying to beat the crap out of either the guy or sister. She was heartbroken but strong. Honest. Mature.

Jerry Springer didn't know how to handle her. The look on his face was one of, "Oh my gosh, a sane one. Good for her, but what the heck do I do now?"

You know, maybe Chris and I should start watching I Dream Of Jeanie again.

All that to say, once again, my plans for the day fell through.

they are elf shoes

I. Love. Them.

The shoes are very sturdy and very flat. May need some sort of arch support, but we will see. They snap and unsnap to get on and off. The top section (ankle/wrap sort of area) is thin leather. At first I was thinking, "Crap quality thin leather". But it seems to work with the shoes style. The part supporting the foot is stiffer and thicker, it is only the ankle bits that are thin. This way it doesn't rub a blister into that place above the heel where all blisters seem to form. The top is not snug and, dang, hold on, let me just take a picture of me wearing them. Be right back...

Okay, I forgot to re install all my digital camera stuff. So I won't post a picture. But trust me, they are rockin' elf shoes and I will wear them with my knee socks as often as possible.

hope I like them

the head collapsed in my hands

An annual tradition in my house seems to be waiting too long to get rid of the Halloween jack o lanterns. Often times in years past we have had to resort to shoveling remains off the porch. Naturally both my husband and kids view these deformed monstrosities as an invitation. KICK ME! scream the slightly rotten scary smiley faces. And so they do.

Fortunately I got to the pumpkins before their feet did this year. One jack o lantern gingerly held in my hands. Squishy but no collapse. Sadly, filled with icky water that came pouring out of it's mouth onto my boots.

Two jack o lantern. Cautious about the water now, I hold it at a safer angle. Not as squishy. Better grip, dealt with fairly easily.

Three jack o lantern. Only a slight bit of softness. Mostly firm, no water inside. A joy to dispose of.

Four jack o lantern. Getting a bit overly self confident at this point. One mishap in three has lulled me into a false state of security. This pumpkin is the biggest. The most rotten. The bottom has flattened out on this thing. Deep breath, I can do this. Feel the sides for the firmest area to grab (no real firmness at all). Tough, but I think I have it. As long as I don't grip too tightly I should be fine.

One step...
Two steps...
(slips in my hand a little, big heavy freaking thing)
Three steps...
(I am starting to sense danger)
Four... steps...

And my left hand sinks into the side of the jack o lantern up past my wrist. If any neighbors had been outside they would have heard a very clear voice saying things like, "Oh ick! What the heck?! No! Son of a! Gross! Gross! Gross!"

Next year those orange suckers are gone on November 1st.

your friday miscellany

Today I volunteered at school. Worked with Thing 1's class. And I accidentally left my coffee at home. The horror. So now I am making up for lost time and sucking down the good stuff.

If someone (not mentioning any names) was planning on sewing Christmas presents for her (or his) parents, brother and in-laws what would it be? What would you want? Would you even want something I (or someone else) made?

My knee sock obsession has extended to hunting for the perfect shoes/boots and skirts/dresses to wear with them. I don't think I am ready to sew a skirt in a heavier material so I will get ready made.

I need to practice my guitar. Steve is getting very lonely. So is Alan - it has been a while since I made anything. Not since the skirt. That skirt. It was bad. I got frustrated. But I will be sewing this weekend.

Thing 1 is making a log cabin for class and I am making a tiny mattress, bedding and rug for the inside. By log cabin I mean cardboard with wood accents. He is working hard at at. And yes, I am helping. But only in the sewing (his idea but he can't sew) and some of the gluing suggestions. The packet said parents were allowed to help, but Chris and I refuse to be those parents. The ones who take over the whole project. It's not our project. We will help on little things if he asks politely, keep his little brother away from it and encourage him to do the best job he can. I think that that is what is really meant by parent help.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but Thing 1's teacher turned out to be a super cool guy. Probably the best teacher he has ever had to date. I may have to come up with a different nickname for him.

It suddenly hit me yesterday as I watched my elder child perform in the fourth grade music concert wearing a light blue button down shirt that was slightly too large and untucked (he hated it since he is a tee shirt kid) nice pants, freshly cut hair and glasses that he is what I would call a cool nerd. You know the kind - smart, funny, serious and goofy (but nerdy in a good way - not to be biased or anything, but he is good looking and we have the statements of others to back that up). The kind of person that, no matter who you are, is fun to hang around and will help you with your homework (not sure how he got so intelligent, it wasn't my genes). And already the girls are starting to like him. I will pretend that is not happening thank you very much. Still has friends from all walks of life.

Thing 2... not sure what he will develop into. Okay, my guess is class clown. Goofy doesn't even begin to describe him. He won't even walk normally whenever he can help it. He would be a perfect candidate for the Ministry Of Silly Walks. Fortunately he is well behaved in class and not disruptive. He saves the nuttiness for free time. When he was getting his haircut yesterday he looked in the mirror and said, "I look fancy!"

He also has brains. Chris says that most class clowns are actually very intelligent. I never thought about it, but when I look back I think that is true. Oh my, I hope Thing 2 doesn't learn how to work the system.

There I go, bragging about my kids again. But hey, why not? I think they rock.

I want a new tattoo. But I want new shoes more.

Okay I love you, bye bye!

after a short absence we now return you to your regularly scheduled Shallow

So my computer freaked out on me. One virus, two virus, a multitude of lovely viruses. Never ever download StumbleUpon. As fun as it can be, it is just not worth it. Chris had to rebuild (or whatever it is called) the entire computer. Lost all my bookmarks. Bummer and a half, but at least there are no more infections.

Oh, and did I mention I have been ill? Because I have. And lived to tell the tale! Actually I am not going to tell the tale because it is gross and whatnot and I really have no desire to relive it.

Halloween was good. Kids were Clone Troopers. Chris decided that I had not bought enough candy (clearly four large bags of mixed candy were simply unacceptable) so he went out and bought two or three more big bags of candy. Yah, that was too much. We have tons left over. Raise your hand if you think I am overdosing on candy! Well, I didn't at first. Because I was sick and all. And I still am fighting the urge not to scarf it. Did a little too much today, but will avoid all candy tomorrow.

What else? Um... Mike Rowe is hot. But that is neither here nor there. More importantly, Alan Rickman is hot. Don't deny it - you know it is true.

No pictures of my pink lipgloss. Because I lost all of my pictures as well. Suckage. So I should probably take one. There was something else I wanted to take a picture of, but I can't remember what it is. It must have been very important.

Still have a knee sock obsession. The count is up to eleven pairs. Or maybe twelve. Anywho, a lot of knee socks. I find them to be much more comfortable than tights. Never though I'd say that. But even with a slip, my skirts and dresses always stick to tights. And that is annoying. Especially when walking by cute males of the fireman persuasion at the kids school. Knee socks are where it is at, my friends. How much is too much? Never too much!!! Sick indulgence.

Chris thinks I should mention my fear of chewing gum to the shrink. What, is that not normal? Anyone else have really weird phobias?

Lot's of other stuff has been going on, but this post is long-ish. Love to you all!

oh yes

I will be buying some hot pink glitter lip gloss today. I saw it last night and can't stop thinking about it. I plan to wear it with my most conservative outfits.

Also, not sure I mentioned it, but I have a horrible addiction to knee socks.

back to normal

Holy crud it is raining so hard! The sky is way dark. And I have to go grocery shopping later. Too fun for me.

Chris is back at work after a week and a half vacation. It was mostly relaxing for him. Kind of relaxing for me. We went out to breakfast together a couple of times which was very nice. He also traded in his Jeep for a Subaru Outback. It rocks. I'd want one, but I am too in love with my mini-van. That's right, I said it - I love my mini-van. Hey, it has small silver flames on the sides. Once we get the shocks replaced it will once again be a sweet ride.


Things I did not do last week:

I didn't learn to put on cream eyeliner. Apparently I didn't really mean it after all.

Didn't sew a mock up dress.

Still haven't folded the laundry. But at least it is clean.

Still haven't started exercising regularly again. I did a bit, though. So I am not a total slacker.


I accomplished everything else on the list. Go me! Sort of. Today is going to be a busy day to make up for the bumming around. It is just hard to get into a groove with Chris home so much. Everyday feels like a weekend. Of course, it isn't like I am the worlds best home keeper anyway. You would think after having cleaning drilled into my head by my father I would be fabulous at it. Not so much.

We are no longer cell phone only. We needed a land line. The boys are growing up and it isn't too long until Thing 1 will be able to stay home alone for short periods of time. We need a phone that is always available. My cell will still be the main number. We have already had some activity on the new one. Thing 1 gave his friend the new phone number and now, instead of running over to ask if he can come out and play, his friend can just call and invite him over.

This post is getting way too long. Okay, so later I will tell you all about my dad and our ovarian cancer awareness lipstick discussion. (First time talking about my aunt, how much ovarian cancer sucks. Also I think that he will be buying makeup every year from now on.)

awesome, people

Full on AWESOME.

on my mind

This week I will learn to apply cream eyeliner. And this time I mean it.

I will sew a mock up of my new dress before I buy good material.

I will stop eating Fruit By The Foot. Or at least keep it to once a day - those things are wicked good.

I will give the dog a bath. Sir Stinks-A-Lot really needs one.

I will actually fold the laundry the same day it comes out of the dryer. But probably not today. Maybe.

I will not recklessly declare that I am going to make all my clothes from now on. I am not (always) a moron.

I will start exercising regularly again. Haven't for about a week. Lazy am I.

And, huh, guess it kind of turned into a goal kind of list. I'm not sure where I was headed with this entry anyway. The only thing on my mind when I started to type was the eyeliner thing. Oh, and I really want a button down flannel shirt. Not the grunge kind (well, yes, that did cross my mind as did overalls). A nice fitted one that is actually designed to be worn by women.

Now I am having grungy flashbacks.

another day in my life

Michael has the construction paper, tape, pencil and crayons out. He has taken it upon himself to make Halloween decorations. He has come up with some very creative concepts.

Also, even though he is still determined to grow a long drooping mustache, he no longer wants to be a professional wrestler (thank goodness). Now he wants to be a professional skateboarder. Not that he has ever been on a skateboard - but they look cool on television.

Rowan is at a birthday party. He is the only boy. Takes it in stride, and it doesn't seem to phase him. Chris went with him since it is at a bowling alley and I wouldn't want to get a migraine.

I have been doing laundry and practicing on Steve. My fingers must be toughening up. I can hold down the strings longer without much discomfort. And the tip of my middle finger is kind of constantly numb-ish due to the callous building up. That is a funky feeling. My index finger is getting to that point as well.

It turned out to be a good thing we didn't go on vacation. Sick family and Chris and I are going to be having a meeting with our financial planner this coming Monday. We needed to get Halloween costumes for the boys (both of them are going to be Clone Troopers). Basically there were more important things going on here.

By the who - It is my turn to take the kids out trick-or-treating this year. Now, every year I wear a costume of some sort. Princess, tavern wench (modest tavern wench), fairy princess. Apparently I have a reputation and kids/parents love coming to our house to see what I am wearing. Last time I took the boys it was cool with them for me to dress up a little. Wings, crazy hair, skulls on shirt.

This year Rowan has put his foot down. No costume for me. Now, you may say that I should just wear one anyway because I am the mom and I can if I want. But Chris pointed out that Rowan is almost 10. Bad enough he has to go treating with his little brother worse that his mom is all dressed up. Good point. I need to respect his feelings. I'll just wear my fancy black fabric flower with the skull detail. I think I can get that past him.

Hope everyone's weekend is awesome.

sometimes bimart rocks

If you don't know what Bi-Mart is let me tell you. It is the "members only" (free membership) store that is dim and dingy. A little bit of everything. Hunting, fishing, clothing, food, bedding, makeup, storage, dvds, cds, etc. Priced low and all stuffed in a smallish space. Bigger than a 7-11, far smaller than Target.

We visit on occasion looking for things like electric griddles, dog blankets and cheap do it yourself bookcases. I have snagged some excellent makeup before and lots of snacks for the whole family.

As far as clothing goes, I have a light weight quilted jacked that I bought a year ago and is still in really good condition. I have found the odd tee shirt as well. Today I hit the jackpot...




Reversible down vest. White quilted on one side, smooth black on the other (doesn't photograph well, actually looks terrific). Fits me nicely and is flattering. And since it is Bi-Mart, this very well made item was only about $16 dollars.

I also got the dress pattern I ordered. Placed the order Tuesday, arrived today. Awesome.

hi, I'm tired

How long has it been? A week? Sorry about that. Time goes fast/slow when you have a sick family. By sick I mean ick sick. ICK SICK. Both boys. Kind of me, kind of Chris. In fact, Chris isn't feeling good today. He is laying down upstairs watching The X Files. Has been since this morning, poor guy.

He is home because he started vacation yesterday. All next week off as well. How is that for the start of vacay?

Rowan and Michael only had two days of school this week. Conferences. Sadly, Rowan was home sick both days and Michael was home sick Tuesday. They have missed a bit of school already, so this was not a good thing. Not so much for Michael - in first grade there isn't a lot of make-up work. But Rowan... he is going to have a lot to make up. Fourth grade is a bit more challenging. Which thrills him to pieces needless to say.

The bad/good thing about this is that the vacation with the In-Laws is canceled because we feel that the monkeys shouldn't miss anymore school unless absolutely necessary (sick). Bad because that was the main reason Chris took vacation time. Now he has nothing to do (in his mind). The good thing is that the vacation with the In-Laws is canceled. No eight hour drive. No trapped in condo with lovely but crackpot MIL. No lectures on why I should throw away my mini sewing kit because it has a skull and crossbones on it.

As far as conferences went. Well, apparently we still have freaky smart kids. Rowan needs to pay attention more in class and slow down when taking tests/doing classwork. Better slower and correct answers than first done and missing obvious answers. His teacher says that once he slows down and pays attention he will be even more off the charts. Oh, and Rowan is still a TAG kid.

Michael has been doing fabulously. Reading levels well beyond first grade, math also excellent. No temper tantrums, no melt-downs. Creative, kind. Doesn't pay attention always. Sense a trend with my boys? He helps out whenever needed and has really improved on the th and f sounds.

Rock on boys. Rock on.